Priest Lake, Idaho has been my favorite place on this earth ever since I became old enough to choose favorites.

Tucked snugly in the woods just beyond Washington state’s eastern border, Priest is close enough to be easily accessible, while still far enough away from the big city experience to allow visitors to feel sufficiently unplugged. I learn something new with every visit, making Priest not only a lake above all lakes, but a sort of outdoor educational conduit for my own personal growth. Besides learning that my favorite place on earth boasts of more than seventy miles of shoreline ripe for recreation and relaxation of all types, the last few years I’ve come to understand that when you mix my family and friends with Priest Lake, laughter induced stomach aches, life lessons and interesting occurrences abound. Following is a selection of wisdom I acquired this past weekend spent lakeside:

Cheetos brand cheese puffs, always a good idea. Sitting on a pontoon boat with fifteen people who think watching a fast approaching lightning storm from the middle of the lake an ideal plan, not such a great idea.

When you hear the same song six times in the span of two days you just might start paying attention to the lyrics.

Routinely leaving at least one window open at your lake cabin is a good idea, especially in the case that minutes upon arriving at 11pm one of your friends decides she’s going to lock and close the front door, with all of the keys, cell phones and warm clothes tucked, and now locked, safely inside. As a side note, watching that same friend try to wedge herself through a window about 8 feet from the ground, Charlie’s Angels style, does prove quite entertaining.

Quoting SNL skits and movies like Zoolander, The Royal Tenenbaums, So I Married An Axe Murderer, and The Rundown can make an afternoon raft-lounging on the lake pass ever so quickly. So quickly, in fact, that you don’t realize until it’s too late that you could look the part of the lobster on the Long John Silver commercials without ever donning a costume.

Don’t argue with the birthday girl. It can only end in tears.

Biff remains a better name alternative than Clifford. Well, naturally.

Water in northern Idaho is still /take your breath away/ cold in June. But never does that deter the extreme lake fan from taking a pain staking plunge at midnight.

The deepest question of the weekend: “Do you think Ronald
Reagan really liked everyone calling him Ronnie?” My answer: Nah.