Only in Spokane would last night’s “Top News Story”, appearing on all three major news channels, focus on the misplacement and general thievery of “hundreds” of political propaganda signs. Never mind telling us about actual newsworthy happenings within our city and the greater Pacific Northwest region. After all, SIGNS are MISSING!

Rest assured that even as I sit here questioning the ability of our newsrooms to actually unearth a legitimate “top story,” the Spokane Police Department is spending a great deal of time and man power in their quest to hunt down these politically minded heathens no doubt taking the physical form of mischievous high schoolers.

I imagine that upon capture all parties responsible will be promptly thrown into the stocks outside of city hall, where everyone in the city lacking a sense of humor will congregate to throw rotten vegetables, rocks, small yappy dogs, and other inanimate objects at these, the bane of Spokane’s otherwise prestigious existence.

I suppose I should be thankful that in their search for the MISSING SIGNS!, the amount of traffic officers pointing radar guns in my general vicinity looks to slightly decrease.