True story occurring last week at the Starbucks where baby carrot sister works, as told to her by Connie The Co-Worker On Duty At This Particular Time Of Day:

A couple walks into the (empty, save two employees) store and proceeds to grope, stroke, caress, and otherwise engage in heavy petting with one another. (Connie The Co-Worker notes that the man looks old enough to be girl’s father.)

They order no coffee, order no chai, but instead, fondle their way into the bathroom, from wherein they emerge, minutes later, to loudly and proudly announce that they have just had sexual relations on the premises, moments thereafter scooting their little fondling behinds out of the store before anyone can recognize their panty-dropping assets.

Enter part of the story where the veteran (Connie The Co-) worker assigns the newbie (and the most shy barista I’ve ever met) the newly disgusting task of promptly cleaning the bathroom facilities.

Oh, the woes of being the new kid on the bar.