In The Spirit Of Monday
Actual recorded message on the cell phone of a woman I had to call for work last week:
“You’ve reached S’s cell phone. If you are calling from a blocked or restricted number, or if I don’t recognize your number, I won’t answer my phone. So I suggest you leave a message, so that I can call you back. If I don’t call you back, there’s obviously a reason why.”

I admire her honesty …. dialing in to change my own outgoing message … haha.