Moving At The Speed Of Sight
Last Saturday Chris and I braved the brightly lit, cellphone kiosk-laden aisles of the mall to visit Lenscrafters, I having recently begun to see (nothing much, but) blurred neon signs at night, and dancing mushrooms and Smurfs in the daytime, unable to focus on anything beyond fifty feet of my immediate vision.
I strained to see for weeks, attempting to convince myself it was all in my head, the not being able to see, giving myself unbelievably brilliant headaches in the process, and generally just being hypochondriacly annoying with the sometimes twice daily melodrama of thinking I was in fact going completely blind.
Chris is nothing if not (a saint, because he is so) patient with me, gently assuaging my inane and unfounded fears whenever necessary, repeatedly assuring me I wouldn’t need a seeing-eye dog and a white cane by the end of the year.
“You just need glasses, baby.”
“Glasses?”
“Yes, glasses. Then your headaches will stop. Because you’ll be able to see.”
“But I have perfect vision. I could pilot a fighter plane.”
“Honey.”
“Oh. Is this the part where I’m delusional?”
“Yes.”
So, on Saturday I waited for a charming cardigan-clad ophthalmologist who reminded me of my grandfather, and, after air being spurted surprisingly into my eyes and myriad other “If you can see this, how about that?” tests, I walked out of Lenscrafters with dilated eyes and an actual prescription proving I can never pilot a fighter plane, and in fact, I can’t really see anything beyond my immediate vicinity without a bit of eyeglass help. “Near-sighted” he called it, and then he innocently attempted to move my purse to a nearby chair, thereby noticing that, in addition to my checkbook, I also always carry rocks, and a banjo, and quite possibly a small cannon in my purse, just in case any revolutionaries come a running.
I remember as a child always wanting glasses, remember being actually envious of my friends’ lack of vision, thinking they looked so hip, so svelte with glass and plastic so elegantly framing their imperfect little eyes. Now I think I’m crazy, so lucky was I at some point to not need them, to not have to constantly fear breaking them or losing them, to not have to donate a kidney to pay for them.
Other than the adjustment of something constantly resting abridge my nose and in my line of sight, and the newfound pressure on the bridge of my nose, I don’t mind them, and in fact, sort of think I too look hip and svelte.
Or, at least, think I look like I can see, which is, as it turns out, rather nice.
Oh, and then there are The Prescription Sunglasses, which make me feel like I am hiding from paparazzi, but really I am hiding from The Sun, Which Blinds Me, and they are without a doubt the most comfortable object I’ve ever put on my face.
This Saturday we did not brave the brightly lit, cellphone kiosk-laden aisles of the mall, but rather, we loaded a seventeen-foot Uhaul with everything we could fit in it and made a seemingly unending trek Southwest to Portland, Oregon. For good. It’s a move long in coming but not necessarily long in being discussed here, yet, and so, for lists and record-keeping’s sake, I bring you, That Which Is Newish Around These Parts, A Brief But Effective Study In Insanity:
Now I don’t mean to even slightly suggest that I am not excited about all the newness to which I am so recently privy, because, au contraire mes amis, I am beyond thrilled. I am just so tired. So tired of boxes, and packing boxes, and unpacking boxes and watching packed and unpacked boxes stare at me maliciously from all corners of every room. I am just. Losing it, a bit, I think.
I do know that unequivocally I will be back to my usual spunk, back to dancing around our new hardwood floors in my knee-high socks and button-up men’s shirt, as soon as I fully understand that as of yesterday I will be writing a Portland zip code on all future mail correspondence.
I will be dancing a jig as soon as I unpack the reality that this is the first of many new adventures with my new adventurous husband who loves me unconditionally even after I label boxes “kerri’s favorite books: box seven.”
I will be giddy when I unpack the reality that my little sister and her husband live an hour and a half away and we get to spend Thanksgiving with them this year. When I unpack the reality that my best girlfriend in the entire world lives not twenty minutes northwest from me and I’ve already shared tater tots and hummus with her at a local McMenamin’s.
I am already fully and perpetually psyched about our office view(s):
The possibilities here are (eco-friendly and) endless. All that is left to do is finish unpacking our box-laden new apartment, buy everything we didn’t realize we would need, like lights for our otherwise dark living room, and congratulate ourselves for paying so much attention all those years we were playing Tetris. Oh, and sleep. We might be sleeping a bit, too.
But, then again, we have miles to go before we sleep. Boxy Boxy miles to go before we sleep.
More updates and more pictures coming soon and very soon. Cross my fingers and hope a box or twelve spontaneously disappears.
1. You have BOXES!!!!! I love your boxes… because they mean that I am not the only one with un-ending stacks of cardboard cubes in each and every room of my house. Thank you thank you thank you for posting pictures. I feel a new-found kinship. I’M NOT CRAZY! OTHER PEOPLE HAVE BOXES! HOORAY! Bless you.
2. Oregon!?!?!?! WOW!!!!! I must admit… I’ve recently felt the slightest tingle of a moving itch… it’s but a faint tickle at the moment… but someday, it’ll be a full blown itch! And I *do* like Oregon. I look forward to many many updates from you that might entice me to start scratching. :)
3. The glasses? I love them. And I love you in them!! Very hip. I too wished for lenses of the corrective variety as a wee lass. But my eyeballs were always/still are too 20/20. Darn them. Maybe someday.
You already fit in wearing those glasses my dear.
PS — welcome to P-town. email me, call me, we’ll eat, we’ll be merry. I’ll kiss the new puppy, then you and maybe chris.
OK, now I’m starting to sound weird.
Bye
Oh my goodness…so much change but all for the better! Can’t wait to hear about how you’re liking Portland! We’ve never been there, but have always wanted to visit.
Also, your glasses are adorable. They look great on you. I myself am in need of a new pair after my 10-month old puppy ate them. Ha. In the meantime I’m basically living in my contacts.
And lastly, your puppy is the cutest little smooshable snugglebug I ever did see.
Wow! Funnily enough, I think Portland is closer to Seattle than Spokane, so for that, I am excited that someday we may actually meet up! No offense to Spokane, but I’d much rather visit Portland! It’s the one PNW city we’ve yet to spend any time in, so I feel as though a trip is in order.
Congrats on the move and the glasses! You look loverly!
Congrats on all the newness. Glasses definitely look good and that puppy is oh so adorable! :)
i always wanted glasses too, only i don’t need them because i have perfect vision … of course, its been about 10 years since i’ve had my eyes tested, hmmmmm ~ okay, i’m making an appointment :) i want to look hip and svelte too :)
i heart these photos :)
Love the new glasses!
Love the new office view!
Love the green walls! (Are those are the new walls?)
Now, get some sleep. You’ve got boxes to pack!
Ch-ch-ch-changes! (sorry…couldn’t help myself.)
You look lovely in your new glasses.
The sleeping puppy and the sleeping Chris are both adorable. :)
Yay for moving…boo for packing/unpacking! Hope your boxes disappear quickly!
Hey those glasses are just like mine!! Identical.
You look pretty in them. I’m sure your eyes thank you….
Great view. But I hate packing/unpacking stuff. Good luck with all that.
Those glasses look fab on you; good luck to you guys in the new place!!
Kerry,
Welcome to Stumptown! Yay for a fellow PDX’er being around! I also write for http://www.about-portlandor.com if you’re interested in seeing some of the things that are going on! If you decide one day that I’m not a scary stalker and you’d like to grab a coffee (or tea, or beer, or even just a water), let me know!
I’m going to add you to my reader!
Sarah
*Kerri … sorry … I am slow tonight!
Love the glasses! (I’ll take a shot of mine one of these days to share.) Congrats on all the newness. I’m searching for a puppy, myself. Good luck with the puppy training.
First of all, you totally are a person who can wear glasses… they look really great on you :) [and you get the very insignificant benefit of actually being able to see better again :)].
About the moving: Tell me about it… I’ve moved TWICE in the last three months and I am fed up with it. It’s such a dread.
Which reminds me: I totally need your new address, because …*tata*… I need to send you something. :) So email me. Or something.
P.S. Did you realize? We both didn’t end up in Santa Monica, but AT LEAST a whole of miles closer to each other than before. Isn’t that nice? Plane flights from Sacramento to Portland should be affordable in no time! :)
Congrats on all the new happiness, and being good at tetris. *grin*
Oh my! How exciting. Welcome to your new home (i heart Portland). I hope this next part of your journey is full of magic. Also, big shnuggles to your puppy. And… those glasses look FANtastic on you.