Resolute
Ah, yes, now! is the time of year for being exceedingly determined about accomplishing the previously unaccomplished, about completing that which seems impossible without the gentle poking and prodding of goals staring us in the face via our own handwriting written decisively on carefully selected paper once every year.
Lofty ambitions like say, for example: eating less chocolate, knowing everyone who works at your gym by their first names, posting for 365 days in a row, owning fewer than five-hundred pairs of shoes, not baking cookies and eating all of them yourself (ahem), learning to drive a manual transmission (double ahem), or, maybe, running your first marathon (it’s downright bizarre how close I am to adding this to my own list every year).
It doesn’t matter that you have yet to even own a pair of adequate running shoes. The marathon! it is, and you are determined and confident in your ability to conquer all goals, no matter the miles, no matter how insane. You are determined! and resolute! Fearless! and unwavering! Until next month, anyway.
Resolutions are, truly, the stuff that (pipe) dreams are made of. I’m no different than anyone else playfully poking fun at resolutions and my inability to complete them, while also making my own this year, but what perhaps makes me slightly less mainstream, and in direct contrast to many of my own New Year’s of yore, is that I fully intend on keeping ALL of my resolutions this year.
Which is why I’m only making five.
You may call it “underachieving.” I call it “cheating” “preparing myself for success.”
Resolution, The First: I shall play pool on New Year’s Eve.
This first resolution may seem measly in comparison to your impressive promise to, perhaps, end world hunger or something, but really, it’s imperative that I regale Chris with my lack of pool skills, so that he will stop asking me to play. Forever. Because I am that bad, I promise you. I once shot a yellow ball in the corner pocket, and promptly congratulated myself, only I did it WITHOUT using the cue ball, because I didn’t understand you had to. Did I mention I’m a rare form of genius, unlike most genius this world has ever seen?
Resolution, The Second: I shall correctly sew a pillow to rest cozily on our futon, that is not so much “cozy” (yet), as it is “green,” and “functional,” and “doubling as a guest bed.”
Learning to properly sew (Doesn’t that word make you take pause, and try not to pronounce it “see-ewww”? Or “sue”? Nope? Just me?) has been something I have wanted to do for years, and while I have indeed made (two!) pillows in the past, neither of them could be deemed “properly sewn,” and in fact probably looked as if a sixth-grader finished them. A drunk sixth-grader. I really think I might like! sewing (not to be confused with “suing,” which I suppose I might also like), and that I might actually be able to do it. Maybe. If I stay sober.
Resolution, The Third: I shall teach Iggy to “sit” and “stay” and maybe even “roll over,” if I’m feeling crazy lucky, and by “I shall” I mostly mean “we shall,” because by the beard of Zeus! I am going to need HELP. And quite possibly divine intervention.
Iggy is no Lassie. We know this, and have accepted it. We know that if we were ever trapped in a well we would have a better chance of Flavor Flav randomly happening across our path, hearing us making fun of him from the bottom of the well, and offering to throw down one of his large clocks to pull us up, than we would of Iggy coming to our rescue. The chances of Iggy (even noticing we fell down the well and) flagging down a gentle and rope-laden hunting party to come to our rescue are akin to the chances that Britney is going to run for Goodwill Ambassador for UNICEF in 2008.
All of that being said, he is still a dog, and I would like to think there are certain doggy codes of conduct, if you will, and sitting, staying, and maybe even rolling over are three of those codes. Or at least, I remain hopeful they are part of his doggy code, which seems to differ greatly from that of most regular dogs. He does “act like you’re on crack!” quite well, though.
Resolution, The Fourth: I shall revel in The Travel this year, to the best of my (pocketbook’s) ability, and will invite everyone I can think of to stay with us in Portland, because we have room! and endless places to walk to! and both should be utilized to their full potential, amen. Seriously, if you want to come visit (us, or just) our amazing city: holler! I’m so not kidding.
Already upcoming in 2008 we have:
a. A much anticipated trip to Alabama, to see Chris’ family, courtesy of Chris’ hard work which ultimately resulted in (time off for me, yes, and!) free first-class airfare. (This trip also marks the very first time Chris and I will have ever flown together.)
b. The much anticipated arrival of one Ms. Jenny Frazier, who is flying from her Right Coast home to our Left Coast home in March. I might have done a literal happy! dance when I first found out she booked airfare. My co-workers were a tad confused but no doubt also (secretly) impressed at how well I can do The Sprinkler.
c. A prematurely booked because that’s how excited! I am trip to San Francisco during the weekend of July 18-20, wherein I fully intend on meeting some very rad ladies (and perhaps their fellows) who are planning to be or already live in the city on the same weekend. If you think you! may be attending said conference in said city, or even if you aren’t, but will still be in or around San Francisco, shoot me an email or comment to let me know.
d. Myriad other yet unplanned trips between now and then, and seriously, if you are ever passing through at any point (ahem), and you feel like stopping, call me; I’d be thrilled to even peek out the window and throw something at your car as you drive by.
e. All of the above.
Resolution, The Fifth: I shall refuse to measure my newly created and labeled “Operation: Better, Stronger, Capable Kerri” in pounds on a scale or words on a page. Instead I will use hard-wrought and yet impossible to measure feelings of accomplishment.
This is the trickiest of the five, and I anticipate I will be unable to fully check it off the list (ever, but especially not) until December 31st, 2008. As daunting as that looks to my prized impatient sensibilities, it’s also mildly thrilling, the idea of embarking on something that will take consistent and repeated time and effort to accomplish. It will take commitment, and dare I say, devotion! and the journey to a healthier, stronger, more capable me will no doubt be one that is fraught with peril, and hard (gasp!) work, and perhaps even some Rodents Of Unusual Size. (Not that I’m thrilled about anything resembling Nutria. But they amuse me; even just saying the word “Nutria” and realizing it’s used to describe a giant water-dwelling rodent? Amusing! To me. But I digress.)
Ultimately I anticipate 2008 to emerge as the front-runner for The Best Damn Year Ever, for a variety of reasons which I hope to expound upon as the year flies by, not the least of which remains the fact that we as a country will be free (at last!) of the man who cannot pronounce anything beyond a seventh grade reading level our current President. Oh, sweet ineptitude, how we need a break. It’s not you. It’s me.
I totally heart your list. Can I just print it out, put it on my fridge and pretend it’s my own? I’m sew so with you on the learning to sew (or knit, or crochet, or anything crafty, really) thing. Like, I’ve even composed this whole post in my head about how it’s like the one thing I really wish I knew how to do, and how I truly feel 2008 is the year for it. How weird is that? My mom will be so proud.
And yes, a real stop off in Portland is definitely in order. I think we’d have a lot of fun! Can Sierra come, too? I’m sure she and Iggy would get along famously. She tends to look on those kinds of dogs (the one with the squishy faces that sound like piglets when they’re running/sleeping/snoring) in utter amazement. Like, are you really a dog? she thinks to herself. Plus, he’s smaller than her, and that’s key in her mind. She likes to wear the pants in the relationship.
(I wonder where she gets THAT from?)
But I digress. Cheers to you, Chris and Iggy! Can’t wait to meet you!
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Of course! Sierra can come, and in fact I would be bummed if she didn’t. We can go to the beach! And trek around the city, too! But dogs on the beach, as you probably well know, are endlessly entertaining. Especially if your dog thinks he’s huge but is really pint-sized. And you can assure her Iggy is not really a dog, because we too remain unconvinced. ; ) Now, hurry up! and come back. Not that I’m needy or demanding or bossy or anything.
I think I’m not going to be thinking of any this year…I have quite enough new things on my upcoming plate to not worry about any resolutions!! I’m sure “lose baby weight” will be the most imminent if I were to chose something. :)
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I think new mommas should automatically be granted “Get Out Of Resolutions Free” cards, from now until age 18, amen.
You, my dear, are going to have a truly fantastic 2008!
I am jealous of the San Fran trip - because I will be there myself just a few weeks later, on the 6th August. *sniff*
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I would so totally stay and wait for you in San Francisco if it wouldn’t mean I was going to be living in a box, on the corner. Or in a van, down by the river. Boo.
No, it’s not you, it’s HIM.
Best of luck with your resolutions. They seem reasonable, not “underachieving”. And also, I TRIED to come visit you, but someone is going to be in Alabama at the time. *pout*
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It is him, isn’t it? Is it bad that I’m giddy with the thought of never having to hear him speak publicly again. Not that he will necessarily stop speaking publicly, but I won’t have to listen to it, and will in fact blatantly ignore him. Ah, sweet bliss.
I am pouting, too. If we hadn’t concreted this trip in stone what feels likes ages ago we would have totally been game for a re-arrange. Chris’ mom will kill us if we try now, though. I haven’t seen her since 2006 and we have a hot date to bake sand-tarts.
Dude. I can`t sew either. Let me know how it works :)
I love your list! Especially the part about going to BlogHer! We can talk about pretty paper…among other things ;)
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I’m so excited to sit next to you that it would probably scare you if I didn’t reign myself in a bit. But yes! pretty paper, and other things! I can’t wait.
Let me check my calendar but I think I might be in San Francisco that weekend. Other more important things might come up though like being surly and alone for a weekend or befriending some Conservatives. I’ll be sure to let you know.
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Surely we can be surly and befriend some Conservatives together. Or, you know, pretend we were and did.
I hope you accomplish all of these things and more in 2008; hope the coming year brings only good things for you and Chris (and Iggy)!
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Thanks! babe. I’m thinking that underachieving was the best idea, because I’ll be doubly excited by anything extra I accomplish, and unless I plan on sleeping from now until December 31st 2008, I can probably tackle more than five! things. Maybe.
I want to sew, too! I bought a sewing machine thinking I could just read the directions and know what to do, but I so don’t. It was a very disappointing realization to come to.
But I’m going to take it somewhere and have someone show me how to use it! I will sew this year! :)
Good list! Good year! Good Kerri!
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How I read it: “I will sue this year!” I really need to work on how I pronounce words and names in my head. Seriously. When I was reading all of the HP’s, I read “Hermione” as “Hermi-one.” Like Obi-one, but with pigtails.
Your list is so much more complete than mine.However, just like you I’m setting myself up for success.
Happy New Year to you and Chris.
XOXXOO
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The secret to keeping resolutions is not making them, right? I LOVE that idea. We missed you on New Year’s Eve, but I hope you are feeling muchas better(as).
OHHH. I had a dance too. And I got the looks. But EEEE!!!! So soon! YAY.
Happy new year :)
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Looks smooks! I always say. Only I don’t really say that, but I think it. Do I give looks to the man downtown who sings and dances joyfully with his own karaoke machine? Well, yes, probably.
I would loooove to learn to sew. Even something simple. I’ve had a brand new sewing machine in my closet that I cannot figure out. Thread the bobbin??!! That can’t be too hard, can it? But it so is. Good luck and I hope you post pictures!
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I should have mentioned that I am hereby attempting to learn to hand-sew everything. I’m hopeless with a sewing machine. I know this, and to my mother’s chagrin, I have accepted it. For now. Thread the bobbin! indeed. (I can’t do it. Without help.)
You quoted The Princess Bride! Yay!
“I don’t think they exist.” [ATTACK]
And I too would love to learn how to sew. For REAL.
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There is something about [ATTACK] that is so hilarious. I’m still laughing about it, as I type this response. [Awesome]
HAPPPPEEE NOOOOEW YEEEEAR!
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I totally read that as Happy! No Ewh Year. Which is rather appropriate, I think. ; )
For a second, I thought you were joining blog365 and my first thought was ‘Are you mad woman?’, then I thought ‘She IS posting this on new year’s eve… she must be drunk’. Ha ha.
I have no doubt that you will achieve said list. And you’re going to BlogHer? Luckyyyy!
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The three times I did ponder the 365 posting, I was surely drunk. Or on crack. Or maybe both.
Oh my gosh, your third one is hilarious! I have a princess of a dog so I can relate :)
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Iggy could be the prince to your princess, if we slightly alter the original definition of “prince” to read: “obsessively needy and compulsively snorty,” which hey, would probably work. But oh, how he is lovable. When he’s not sneezing in your face, of course. ; )
A note on your trip to SF: how odd…I’ll be there that same weekend. Hotel reserved, Flight booked. Husband coming.
I couldn’t resist the calling of that sweet, sweet city. If only it were mine to call home.
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San Francisco is like a siren song to me. I am enamored, and I have yet to step foot in the city itself.
ROUSs? I don’t think they exist.
And honey, it’s not you. It’s him.
Happy new year, good, strong, capable you!
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I think I may pee in my pants a little when he finally! leaves office. His voice vexes me beyond belief. Happy! 2008 to you, friend.
My only resolution is to try to be a better blog-reader-friend. ;)
Sounds like YOU have a great list and are going to be busy, busy, busy!
Happy New Year to you, Chris and Iggy! May 2008 treat you well…
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Oooh, a better blog reader friend! is a great resolution. I too! want to aspire to that. I’m in the process of better organizing my frequent blog haunts, in the hopes that I can and will thrive sans a feed reader. I’ve accepted the fact that I like clicking through too much to feed read.
I WILL BE IN SAN FRAN AT THE SAME TIME…what a coincidence.
heh.
You’re better than I am, for every eight resolutions I make, one sticks.
And it only happened once.
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I think I made twenty last year. It was ridiculous how fast I abandoned ALL of them. Thus: five! was born. The jury’s still out on these, too. ;)
Yay for resolutions. I put mine up earlier this week. Yesterday I think. Yeah. LOL That was earlier this week, right?
I hope we meet in San Francisco :)
dude.
i will be at THAT CONFERENCE in san fransisco.
also, i will be–from here until forever–traveling to aberdeen washington at least 2x a year. i hear portland isn’t any further from there than seattle is…
we’re sure to work something out at some point.