Portrait Of A Tuesday Night
from the t.v. via The History Channel: “The earth (dramatic pause for effect) will be DEAD.”
“Awesome.”
“Yeah, this show is pretty uplifting.”
“Ah, Science, never quite putting it gently.”
The History Channel: “At that time humans will have to look to other planets to inhabit in order to ensure their survival.”
“I really don’t want to be around when that happens.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure we won’t have to worry about that.”
“Yeah, I know, and GOOD. Star Trek was always so dark and depressing, with everyone swirling about in endless space, isolated and yet stuck on a ship together. And why was everyone on the ‘civilized’ planets always wearing dreary and ridiculously tattered clothes, like they just escaped from a mental institution laden with tigers?”
“They were training to star in Waterworld?”
“Nice.”
A few moments of silence
“And in space THERE IS NO INTERNET! Can you imagine?”
“It’s ultimate horror, magnified.”
Speaking of the History Channel, are you going to watch Jurassic Fight Club? I have to say, I’m mildly intrigued. First rule of Jurassic Fight Club, there is no …
Or perhaps I’ve been watching a little too much Shark Week.
Oh God. We’ll kill ourselves off long before the Earth dies. Which is very depressing in and of itself.
The Discovery channel is downright depressing. Scare tactics or no, it freaks me out.
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SERIOUSLY. I don’t think they have any idea on how to spin a story lightly, or even crack a joke. The History Channel needs a drink.
Space sucks. I hate flying anyway.
I feel like there SHOULD BE internet in space I mean the internet seems all space-y and future-y and stuff. And yes that is totally scientific.
um, we are twins.
the end.
The History Channel sure is obsessed with the future and the various and horrible ways we’re going to die. Maybe a name change is in order.
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Perhaps: “The Future and The Various Horrible Ways We’re Going To Die.” It does have a certain ring to it!
The History Channel can always be counted on to depress. If it’s not about global implosion, xyz show will likely be about Hitler, genocide, global warming or cannibalism. Heart warming stuff!
first off.. was this a oral-surgery pain meds enhanced discussion? if not, you guys may just be my new heros. if so.. I just love you regular.
but yeah. history channel. and something about them.. like they KNOW shit. the week I moved to seattle, they showed NOTHING but specials about earthquakes and mount ranier and how it SHOULD BE ERUPTING ANY MINUTE AND EVERYONE IN SEATTLE WIL DIE DIE DIEEEEEEE. if not by LAVA, then the CLOUDS OF ASH!!! and if you, you crazy chick from jersey are USED to breathing smog, then fear not.. you’re gonna bite it in the aftershocks of earthquakes or the big assed tsunami heading your way.
or something like that. my memory might have elaborated just a smidge.
science channels scare me sometimes, shudder.
This is why I don’t watch the Discovery Channel. I stick to trashy reality television on Bravo and/or VH1.
No Internet? I. Would. DIe.
Or maybe have a life.
Huh.