from the t.v. via The History Channel: “The earth (dramatic pause for effect) will be DEAD.”
“Awesome.”
“Yeah, this show is pretty uplifting.”
“Ah, Science, never quite putting it gently.”
The History Channel: “At that time humans will have to look to other planets to inhabit in order to ensure their survival.”
“I really don’t want to be around when [...]

“Hey, where did you get those moccasin things you’re wearing?
“These? I’ve had these.”
“They look like…like… Wait, what’s the name of that Native American girl?”
“Pocahontas?”
“Yes! Pocahontas! I was going to call you ‘Sasquatch,’ but I knew that wasn’t right.”
——————–
Addendum: Thank you! to everyone who heartily (and so thoughtfully!) participated in the name-change discussion these past few [...]

This week was admittedly tough for me, but in my experience even the most melancholy weeks are never devoid of a few hearty guffaws, which is admittedly quite awesome, as a life without hearty guffaws is no life at all.
Below are some fantastic nouns that made the past few days much more jovial than they [...]

After pushing the play arrow on Lionel Richie’s I Love You via Rhapsody, he looks right at me from across the desk and says, “Oh, yes. I did.”
Then, after he’s finished singing THE ENTIRE SONG into a microphone fashioned from his left fist:
“The Jernigan House: The only place in the world where you will hear [...]

The hilarious and presumed answer to a question I asked Chris over the Easter weekend: “Can I bring a pie on a plane?”
The short answer: Snakes on a plane = yes.
Pies on a plane = depends on whether or not they have a custard-like filling.
My favorite part of the piece:
“Does it have lumps?”
I glanced at [...]

Chris sent this to me a few Mondays ago:

This was my response to his, for President’s Day, as it was:

Go here to read his or here to read mine (larger, online versions), and here to send your own.
In other less elephant dung related news: Jenny! will be here in t-minus seven hours! and counting. Hence [...]

While we were in Mobile this past week we spent copious amounts of quality family time, including but not limited to watching old 8mm reels of home movies from Chris’ diaper-clad days, a cozy dinnertime conversation centering on the various degrees to which Nancy Grace is probably annoying, and games of Scrabble and Bookworm that [...]

(Contrary to the poster art, and fortunately for him, John Cusack is not in this movie.)
Originally aired: 1986
Watched by kerri anne: 12.16.07
Courtesy Of: On Demand free! movies.
Because: Sundays are for bad movies. Especially when you are not feeling particularly germ-free.
Starring: Charlie Sheen, Nick Cassavetes, Sherilyn Fenn, Randy Quaid, and what turned out to be The [...]

Plant your right foot into the largest and freshest pile of dog shat (past tense, you see) available, and then proceed to not notice it’s your foot that is smelling rather rank, and assume it’s your pint-sized dog, who has been having The Gas lately.
Bonus points if the pile you step in is a. not [...]

I didn’t actually ever mention it, unless you count daily organizational tags “mentioning.”
Which (of course) I totally don’t, and I wouldn’t have even used them, but my brain is a mess rocky, barren place organized chaos of maps and folders and sub-folders labeled for your convenience, you’re welcome my sanity, most likely. Thus, not (overly) [...]