Of sequins and fleece:
Sarah Jessica Parker,
will you sign my sock?
She licked her fabric;
Sarah Jessica Parker!
My top smells like spit.

“I didn’t have time to put in a zipper.”
“I was a total queen.”
“Its freak-out time here ladies and gentlemen.”
“My model loves my outfit, and I love my outfit as well.”
“You do? I don’t; I think there’s some hand-sewn crap up in here.”
“It’s so ‘dressed in the dark.’”
“Can you imagine the next day The New York [...]

Received when I was still working in Washington, after our third round of interviews for an assistant position:
“Thank you for the interview. The facility there is very nice. I like the fact you have a small office. Makes it feel more like home, instead of lost.”
I completely understand. Our office does eerily resemble the set [...]

Just ten weeks old yesterday, Iggy is already conspiring against us. Or, well, against himself.
He’s determined to never again set foot outside.
This afternoon after Chris and I returned from an afternoon of Saturday Market and Powell’s perusal Iggy was incredibly high on crack hyper, running and sliding about, nipping at shoes and just generally highlighting [...]

This Halloween my creativity and time are currently still hibernating in unopened boxes, and so, I bring you:
Costumes of yesteryear, a tour of sorts brought to you by The Ghost of Halloween Past:
One of my very first Halloweens, as Kerri Cottontail:

Saying “Boo” and meaning it since 1982. This year someone clearly couldn’t decide between “Ghost” [...]

While reorganizing and purging our garage of junk possessions long left for garbage last weekend, I found a box of old journals and notebooks in which I attempted to be artistic when I was still in elementary school and still figuring out that multi-colored pens aren’t a necessity. Especially not while doing Math.
All of it [...]

Friday:
I woke up without incident. Went to work without incident. And began feeling impulsive around noon. I have a co-worker who lives for being impulsive, and who couldn’t wait to capitalize on my surely fleeting flight of spontaneous fancy. Thus, star tattoos! On our lunch-break! Well, naturally:

I am now forever star-struck, as it were:

I am [...]

Actual title of a s-p-a-m email I received yesterday:
“Then there were drops in the window, then rivulets.”

“I’m about to have a contest over here.”
“What?”
“A contest to see how many grapes I can fit in my mouth.”
“Wow.”
“Do you want to take pictures?”
“My camera is out of batteries. Dang.”
(Unintelligible noises coming from the man who has now filled his oral cavity with copious amounts of large green grapes.)
“It’s all fun and games until [...]

I Was Gored by a Bull
Is my life in danger?
—an actual write-in to a Q&A segment via MSN 7.12.07
Archaeologist: All royal mummies are suspect—from CNN 7.13.07

Researchers: Greenland really was green!—from CNN 7.13.07
OMG! YR still on MySpace? Loser!—from MSNBC 7.13.07

Christopher Walken can’t use a computer, regularly pulls his hair—from Celebitchy, 7.09.07
(and my personal favorite)
James Blunt sold [...]